Flat Maya was in Danville a few days ago. She was the special guest of Dan and Margaret Raines, arriving in Virginia from Texas via the U. S. Postal Service. That may sound like an unconventional way for a person for travel, but Flat Maya is an unconventional person. Although she’s as tall as me, she weighs less than a pound, is a fraction of an inch thick, and neatly folds up in order to fit inside a flat mailing envelope. In fact, that’s the way she gets from point A to point B—without a doubt, the most economical way to see the world.
Flat Maya, by the way, is the alter ego of the real Maya—the three-dimensional, non-folding Maya—a real, living, breathing human being made of flesh and blood rather than paper or cardboard. The real Maya lives in Tyler, Texas and she happens to be Dan and Margaret’s niece.
How did Maya wind up with a flat version of herself? It seems that Maya’s class at school was reading a popular children’s book called Flat Stanley. In the book, the title character is a young boy named Stanley Lambchop. One night, a bulletin board hanging on the wall over his bed falls and flattens little Stanley in his sleep. He survives and makes the best of his altered state, soon entering locked rooms by sliding under the door, and playing with his younger brother by being used as a kite. Stanley even helps catch some art thieves by posing as a painting on the wall of a museum. But one of the best advantages of Stanley’s newfound flatness is his ability to visit his friends by being mailed to them in an envelope.
After introducing her class to the story of Flat Stanley, Maya’s teacher assigned her students the project of creating flat versions of themselves that they could then mail to different people in different places. So, being the good aunt and uncle that they are, Margaret and Dan decided to invite Flat Maya up for a visit to Danville. And, upon her arrival, they really showed Flat Maya the town, taking her around to a number of historic sites and notable landmarks in our fair city. They even included me in their plans, arranging for Flat Maya to come by the church and make a personal visit to my office while she was in the area.
I have to say that it was a real pleasure to meet Flat Maya. Although I was just making her acquaintance for the very first time, she seemed quite at ease in my office. After posing for a photo with me and Aunt Margaret, while Uncle Dan manned the camera, she just plopped down in a chair for a while and made herself right at home, just like she’d been there a thousand times before.
Flat Maya didn’t say much or ask me many questions, but I could see that she was quite observant, just basking in the moment and taking it all in. Apparently, she likes to live the biblical adage of being slow to speak and quick to listen.
Although she’s clearly a person of few words, Flat Maya must be pretty smart. After all, she’s been to so many different places and seen so many different things. In spite of her quiet and shy demeanor, one can readily see what a colorful person she is. Just look at the way she dresses. Her wardrobe is vibrant. Her hair is bright blonde. She definitely stands out in a crowd. Gee, I hope I’m not FLATtering her too much. (I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist!)
I didn’t really have time to learn much about her personal likes and dislikes. But I’ll venture a guess that she’s a fan of Bluegrass music. Her favorite group? FLATT and Scruggs, no doubt! (Oops! I’m sorry. There I go again!)
Physically, Flat Maya’s a little on the thin side, especially when you view her profile. (I’m not sure what they’re feeding her out there in Texas, but she definitely could stand to put on a few pounds. If we’d had time, I’d love to have taken her to Biscuitville for a high-carb lunch.) In many ways, Flat Maya has the physical attributes to be a fashion model. But she would only be successful at modeling if she were consistently photographed from the front, certainly never from a side angle.
Flat Maya is a definitely a special person. And she certainly has figured out an interesting and inexpensive way of seeing the world. I think next
time I plan an international mission trip, I’ll try to recruit a team of flat church members to go with me. That way, we can save a whole bunch of money on airfare, opting for envelopes and stamps instead. The only problem is that I personally won’t be able to lead that team, unless I first can get someone to drop something heavy on me and flatten me out. Hmm. I can tell you right now that a bulletin board isn't going to do the trick. I'll probably need an anvil or a steamroller. (Ouch!)
The Round Reverend Danny
Flat Maya, by the way, is the alter ego of the real Maya—the three-dimensional, non-folding Maya—a real, living, breathing human being made of flesh and blood rather than paper or cardboard. The real Maya lives in Tyler, Texas and she happens to be Dan and Margaret’s niece.
How did Maya wind up with a flat version of herself? It seems that Maya’s class at school was reading a popular children’s book called Flat Stanley. In the book, the title character is a young boy named Stanley Lambchop. One night, a bulletin board hanging on the wall over his bed falls and flattens little Stanley in his sleep. He survives and makes the best of his altered state, soon entering locked rooms by sliding under the door, and playing with his younger brother by being used as a kite. Stanley even helps catch some art thieves by posing as a painting on the wall of a museum. But one of the best advantages of Stanley’s newfound flatness is his ability to visit his friends by being mailed to them in an envelope.After introducing her class to the story of Flat Stanley, Maya’s teacher assigned her students the project of creating flat versions of themselves that they could then mail to different people in different places. So, being the good aunt and uncle that they are, Margaret and Dan decided to invite Flat Maya up for a visit to Danville. And, upon her arrival, they really showed Flat Maya the town, taking her around to a number of historic sites and notable landmarks in our fair city. They even included me in their plans, arranging for Flat Maya to come by the church and make a personal visit to my office while she was in the area.
I have to say that it was a real pleasure to meet Flat Maya. Although I was just making her acquaintance for the very first time, she seemed quite at ease in my office. After posing for a photo with me and Aunt Margaret, while Uncle Dan manned the camera, she just plopped down in a chair for a while and made herself right at home, just like she’d been there a thousand times before.Flat Maya didn’t say much or ask me many questions, but I could see that she was quite observant, just basking in the moment and taking it all in. Apparently, she likes to live the biblical adage of being slow to speak and quick to listen.
Although she’s clearly a person of few words, Flat Maya must be pretty smart. After all, she’s been to so many different places and seen so many different things. In spite of her quiet and shy demeanor, one can readily see what a colorful person she is. Just look at the way she dresses. Her wardrobe is vibrant. Her hair is bright blonde. She definitely stands out in a crowd. Gee, I hope I’m not FLATtering her too much. (I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist!)
I didn’t really have time to learn much about her personal likes and dislikes. But I’ll venture a guess that she’s a fan of Bluegrass music. Her favorite group? FLATT and Scruggs, no doubt! (Oops! I’m sorry. There I go again!)Physically, Flat Maya’s a little on the thin side, especially when you view her profile. (I’m not sure what they’re feeding her out there in Texas, but she definitely could stand to put on a few pounds. If we’d had time, I’d love to have taken her to Biscuitville for a high-carb lunch.) In many ways, Flat Maya has the physical attributes to be a fashion model. But she would only be successful at modeling if she were consistently photographed from the front, certainly never from a side angle.
Flat Maya is a definitely a special person. And she certainly has figured out an interesting and inexpensive way of seeing the world. I think next
time I plan an international mission trip, I’ll try to recruit a team of flat church members to go with me. That way, we can save a whole bunch of money on airfare, opting for envelopes and stamps instead. The only problem is that I personally won’t be able to lead that team, unless I first can get someone to drop something heavy on me and flatten me out. Hmm. I can tell you right now that a bulletin board isn't going to do the trick. I'll probably need an anvil or a steamroller. (Ouch!)The Round Reverend Danny
