Lots of bizarre stories made the news this week. Anna Nicole Smith, the dysfunctional drama queen, former pinup girl, and ex-reality TV star—one of those people that are famous simply for being famous—died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 39, her tragic tabloid life coming to a tragic tabloid ending. Former Orlando Magic reserve center John Amaechi, the first British player ever in the NBA, made headlines by coming “out of the closet” and declaring himself a homosexual. Strangely, with this one act, the obscure ex-player suddenly attained a measure of fame he could never achieve on the court. This and this alone is what his brief basketball career will now be remembered for. And then, there’s astronaut Lisa Nowak who overnight became a household name when she seemingly spaced out, donned a wig and trench coat, and drove some 900 miles from her Houston home to Orlando International Airport. Her mission? To confront a woman she perceived as her rival for the affections of a male space shuttle pilot. The troubled Nowak was arrested for attempted murder.
In the midst of all this heavy news, however, here’s another story you may have missed. Early Saturday morning, along Northern Virginia’s Capital Beltway, a tractor-trailer overturned, spilling out its entire contents of 165,000 eggs. Yes, that’s right, 165,000 eggs! As you can imagine, there was a lot of egg-citement afoot as rescuers scrambled to the scene. A Virginia Department of Transportation official described the mess as looking like “a large omelet.” The broken eggs reportedly made their way to a drainage ditch, where they created “a river of yellow yolk.” An exit ramp and one lane of the highway had to be closed for several hours.
Strangely, in addition to the runny eggs, officials also had to contend with a runaway driver. For whatever reason, the driver of the rig fled the accident scene before the police arrived. Reportedly, law enforcement officials were using a helicopter that morning to try to locate this hard-boiled fugitive from justice.
DOT officials, trying to keep their sunny side up, noted that it was a good thing the accident didn’t occur in the summer, because the mess likely would have been much worse. Due to the cold temperatures, however, workers avoided using water to clean the pavement for fear of freezing the eggs on the roadway. (Although, if they had only thought of it, I’m sure they could have called in Jimmy Dean, as he has a great deal of expertise with frozen breakfast foods.) Instead, the cleaning crew used 250 pounds of kitty litter (of all things) to absorb the massive omelet before sweeping up all the debris.
This story reminded me of something that happened over twenty-five years ago when I was a young loan officer at a small town bank in Kentucky. One of our customers at the time—a hog farmer—was taking a load of pigs to market in Knoxville, Tennessee, when he wrecked, overturning his truck on I-40. This was when Knoxville’s highway system was undergoing dramatic upgrades in preparation for the 1982 World’s Fair. The week prior to the wreck, the farmer had driven the very same route without incident. The night he crashed his hog truck, however, he simply tried to take the same exit he had taken before. That’s when he discovered, much to his surprise, that it was no longer there. A wall had been erected in its place. When the truck hit the wall and overturned, swine were splattered all over the pavement. The distraught pigs that survived the impact, however, raced wildly across the lanes of traffic, much to the astonishment of many an oncoming motorist. The unsuspecting drivers had to swerve and slam on their brakes to avoid turning their cars into cans of Spam. The flow of traffic was halted for quite some time that night as volunteers and law enforcement officials sprinted after the panicky porkers. This strange incident actually made the front page of the next day’s edition of The Knoxville News-Sentinel, complete with news photo. This whole episode kind of reminded me of that story in the Bible where those crazed, suicidal, demon-possessed pigs plunged over a cliff to their doom.
Anyway, I thought about that crash of long ago when I read about Saturday’s egg accident. Just think, if those two bizarre roadway collisions had occurred at the same time and place, the world would have been treated to the biggest ham and egg breakfast it had ever seen!
Now, what does all of this have to do with anything?
Well, here’s another tale you may or may not have heard before. Supposedly, a pig and a chicken were discussing the possibility of making a sacrificial gift to some worthy cause. (Now, just so you know, I fully realize that pigs and chickens don’t talk, but please humor me here.) The chicken boldly declared, “I can lay some eggs and you can provide the ham. Together, we can make a hearty breakfast.” To which the pig replied, “Hey, wait a minute! Before you go off volunteering us both for this assignment, might I point out the inequity of your plan? In regard to yourself, all you’re talking about is making a little donation, but, as for me, you’re asking for a total life commitment!”
Now there’s some food for thought. Think about it. Which are you, a laying hen or a pig on his way to the slaughterhouse?
Remember, Jesus isn’t looking for a simple donation. He doesn’t want you to merely tip your hat to Him by giving Him a couple of hours on Sunday. He wants all that you are, your whole life, 24/7, fully and totally surrendered to Him.
A lot of folks live out their entire life and never understand what life is all about. That sadly includes the Anna Nicole Smiths of this world. But it also unfortunately includes some people that attend church every week. They hear it, time and time again, but they just don’t get it. Their “faith” stays securely nestled in the safety of their pew, never moving beyond that to impact how they live from day to day.
Don’t be a big chicken. Surrender your all to Jesus. Remember, it’s only when we learn to die to self that we really begin to live the way God intended. And that’s no accident!
Pastor Danny
In the midst of all this heavy news, however, here’s another story you may have missed. Early Saturday morning, along Northern Virginia’s Capital Beltway, a tractor-trailer overturned, spilling out its entire contents of 165,000 eggs. Yes, that’s right, 165,000 eggs! As you can imagine, there was a lot of egg-citement afoot as rescuers scrambled to the scene. A Virginia Department of Transportation official described the mess as looking like “a large omelet.” The broken eggs reportedly made their way to a drainage ditch, where they created “a river of yellow yolk.” An exit ramp and one lane of the highway had to be closed for several hours.
Strangely, in addition to the runny eggs, officials also had to contend with a runaway driver. For whatever reason, the driver of the rig fled the accident scene before the police arrived. Reportedly, law enforcement officials were using a helicopter that morning to try to locate this hard-boiled fugitive from justice.
DOT officials, trying to keep their sunny side up, noted that it was a good thing the accident didn’t occur in the summer, because the mess likely would have been much worse. Due to the cold temperatures, however, workers avoided using water to clean the pavement for fear of freezing the eggs on the roadway. (Although, if they had only thought of it, I’m sure they could have called in Jimmy Dean, as he has a great deal of expertise with frozen breakfast foods.) Instead, the cleaning crew used 250 pounds of kitty litter (of all things) to absorb the massive omelet before sweeping up all the debris.
This story reminded me of something that happened over twenty-five years ago when I was a young loan officer at a small town bank in Kentucky. One of our customers at the time—a hog farmer—was taking a load of pigs to market in Knoxville, Tennessee, when he wrecked, overturning his truck on I-40. This was when Knoxville’s highway system was undergoing dramatic upgrades in preparation for the 1982 World’s Fair. The week prior to the wreck, the farmer had driven the very same route without incident. The night he crashed his hog truck, however, he simply tried to take the same exit he had taken before. That’s when he discovered, much to his surprise, that it was no longer there. A wall had been erected in its place. When the truck hit the wall and overturned, swine were splattered all over the pavement. The distraught pigs that survived the impact, however, raced wildly across the lanes of traffic, much to the astonishment of many an oncoming motorist. The unsuspecting drivers had to swerve and slam on their brakes to avoid turning their cars into cans of Spam. The flow of traffic was halted for quite some time that night as volunteers and law enforcement officials sprinted after the panicky porkers. This strange incident actually made the front page of the next day’s edition of The Knoxville News-Sentinel, complete with news photo. This whole episode kind of reminded me of that story in the Bible where those crazed, suicidal, demon-possessed pigs plunged over a cliff to their doom.
Anyway, I thought about that crash of long ago when I read about Saturday’s egg accident. Just think, if those two bizarre roadway collisions had occurred at the same time and place, the world would have been treated to the biggest ham and egg breakfast it had ever seen!
Now, what does all of this have to do with anything?
Well, here’s another tale you may or may not have heard before. Supposedly, a pig and a chicken were discussing the possibility of making a sacrificial gift to some worthy cause. (Now, just so you know, I fully realize that pigs and chickens don’t talk, but please humor me here.) The chicken boldly declared, “I can lay some eggs and you can provide the ham. Together, we can make a hearty breakfast.” To which the pig replied, “Hey, wait a minute! Before you go off volunteering us both for this assignment, might I point out the inequity of your plan? In regard to yourself, all you’re talking about is making a little donation, but, as for me, you’re asking for a total life commitment!”
Now there’s some food for thought. Think about it. Which are you, a laying hen or a pig on his way to the slaughterhouse?
Remember, Jesus isn’t looking for a simple donation. He doesn’t want you to merely tip your hat to Him by giving Him a couple of hours on Sunday. He wants all that you are, your whole life, 24/7, fully and totally surrendered to Him.
A lot of folks live out their entire life and never understand what life is all about. That sadly includes the Anna Nicole Smiths of this world. But it also unfortunately includes some people that attend church every week. They hear it, time and time again, but they just don’t get it. Their “faith” stays securely nestled in the safety of their pew, never moving beyond that to impact how they live from day to day.
Don’t be a big chicken. Surrender your all to Jesus. Remember, it’s only when we learn to die to self that we really begin to live the way God intended. And that’s no accident!
Pastor Danny
